The growth that occurs when you are between chapters

“The most powerful thing you can do now is patient while things unfold for you.” ~ Idil Ahmed

If one door closes, another one opens, or so goes the proverb. From experience, I know that the new door does not always open immediately. Often you spend time in the hallway, the state between what was and what will be.

About two years ago, I decided to leave my job. While I was busy Make big decisions, I decided to give up my apartment and go abroad for a period. I didn’t have a new plan, but I just felt it was time to go on.

When my loved ones expressed their doubts about my plans, I blew them away, sure I would find out. And to be honest, I expected the new plan to just happen to me as soon as I made the decision.

For most of my life, the phases between work, relationships and living spaces followed each other neatly. I fully expected this time to be no different.

You can imagine me when the new phase did not start this time immediately. Answers, opportunities and great synchronizations don’t just fall to my feet. What I got instead was a lot of confusion and self-doubt.

In the middle of all this, my long -term relationship ended, which added another element of uncertainty in my life. I was in the hallway, and it felt like I was waiting for the door to appear.

Somehow spending most of our time in the hallway during our lifetime. The corridor is that phase between two chapters of life if nothing looks. This intermediate phase can take many shapes and shapes.

Sometimes you end up there by choice, such as when you take a Sabbath year, or choose to spend time on yourself. Other times, the decision is made for you: Maybe your physical or mental health is forcing you to take a break. You may be released from your work, your business closes, or your partner prefers to end your relationship.

There is also the space between where we think of something we want to bring in our lives – everything from a business to parenting – and where it comes into effect. The period can also feel like an intermediate phase, where we are not yet where we want to be, but we are very focused on getting there.

We want to be theree and forget to enjoy that we are now here. Rather than Enjoy the journey And all the little steps along the way, we focus on where we feel like we should be.

Most of us do not want to spend time in between. This can be a very uncomfortable time as there is a lot of uncertainty involved.

It may feel like it was stranded in the middle of the desert: everything looks the same, and nothing orients us in any direction. We do not know how long the period is going to last or where we are going. It can make us doubt everything we thought we know and believe, and it can be disturbing.

There are different strategies to take the intermediate phase. I know, because I tried everyone, with mixed results.

You can choose to beat all doors madly until one of them opens. The problem with this strategy is that, although understandable, it is a fear -based approach. Rather than deciding on a deep sense of trust in yourself and life, you touch the door that opens.

There is also the option to lie on the floor and wait for the door to introduce itself. Although it sometimes works, it is not the most empowering strategy. It is also a smooth slope in a bit of a victim mentality if things take longer than you expect.

And then there is the option to see this period as an opportunity. A chance to get to know yourself better and become familiar with your own fear and doubt, hope and longing. If you allow, this phase can bring you closer to yourself and allow you to move forward in a more authentic, aligned way.

It took me a little longer than I care to admit that I was moving one and two in third place, but when I finally did, it was some of the lessons I learned.

1. If you lose something that feels essential to your self -esteem, you will learn who you are without that part.

Most of us feel very attached to certain parts of our identity, be it our work, relationship or an idea that we have about ourselves. The more we attach our self -esteem to a closed door, how uncomfortable this phase will feel. And the more we probably need this time.

The intermediate phase gives you the chance to see who you are without all the things you thought you were. In the process, you are invited to acknowledge that your value is so much more than the identities.

I have always seen myself as someone who followed her intuition and was brave enough to follow her own path. In my relationships, I took on the role of encouraging others to do the same. When I didn’t feel sure or brave, I learned that I was still a caring friend and family member. Opening my feelings made other people feel safe to share their deeper feelings as well.

No one is meant to accept one role; We are all multifaceted beings, and all our parts are valuable.

2.. A period of uncertainty gives you the chance to become more resilient for fear.

Sometimes your greatest fear becomes in this intermediate phase. And it is truly frightening. But this is also a wonderful opportunity. If what you fear deeply happens, you have the chance to integrate that fear, so that you are no longer controlled by your daily life.

It gives you the chance to process it, rather than just hope it never happens. And with that it can give you great freedom. If this happens, and you can handle it, you may be more capable than you thought.

When I was in Limbo, I realized that I had the deep fear that my life would not go anywhere, and that I would never be able to fulfill my potential. It made me feel deeply afraid of failure and rejection, because I felt that these experiences would confirm my nuclear fear.

In the process of creating a new path, I faced my part of failure and rejection. Initially, the feelings that emerged would overwhelm me, and I want to give up to try. But gradually, when I learned to process these feelings, I found a deeper sense of safety.

While uncomfortable emotions show up, learn to feel it in your body. Familiarize with the sensations and just breathe. Implementing tools to calm your nervous system – such as deep breathing or listening to calming music – so you can regulate yourself to safety.

The more comfortable you become with uncomfortable emotions, the more resilient you become for them. You no longer have to avoid the things that you fear, which can bring you great happiness.

3.. An inter-period is a chance to move forward in a different way.

There is usually a paved path in relationships, career paths and life in general, with a logical next step to take. So often in life, we take that next logical step, rather than reflect or match our deepest longing.

It is challenging to go from that paved path and to the desert, but it is also very rewarding. An intermediate period forces you to make a conscious choice: Do you want to continue as before, or are there changes that you want to move forward?

As you learn to find safety in the uncertainty and let go of your attachment to things that were not quite right for you, you open space to move forward otherwise. With a newly found confidence in your resilience and a deeper knowledge of yourself, it becomes much easier to make decisions that are deep in line with you.

4. Change is often gradual and can only be seen in thought.

There are moments that you drive from one moment to the next in a new phase of life. But there is often not one big earth -shattering moment that changes everything. The breakthrough moment illuminated by the right, where you suddenly know exactly what to do, do not always come.

On the contrary, change is often a gradual process that you can only see fully when you look back on it. It is a combination of very small steps and lessons and a gradual integration of the emotions that bring the change. If you fully embrace it, it is powerful.

This means that you do not have to dig out for answers or to find out everything at the same time, but learn to trust that the things you do every day matter. Life has natural rhythms and seasons, just as nature does. Some seasons are big and exciting, while others are slower.

Looking back now, I can see that I learned to gradually replace my fear -based choices with options that were more in line. It started with seemingly small things, such as my morning routine and the recipes I cooked, and developed to start my own business and decide to move closer to the sea. In the silence, I learned to sit with my feelings and take small steps towards sustainable change.

And perhaps, as we move to the door at some point that will inevitably show up, we see that the corridor is not just a space between the two doors. It is a room in itself, an essential and fertile phase of life. We learn that we are never in between, as we always grow, develop and live simply.