The management guru says that the company overflows romantic relationships: “There is excessive pressure to get married, fence of white stakes”

“Société Sérestime The romantic relationship and sub-values ​​friendship,” said Simon Sinek, consultant, speaker and author Find mastery podcast. “But this is the world in which we live where there is an excessive amount of pressure to get married. White fence, 1.3 children or regardless of statistics, 2.1. ”

Sinek is very revered for its 2009 Ted Talk on the concept of “why” and its theory of “golden circle” which encourages managers and organizations to define their basic objective or belief as a basis to inspire employees and customers. His TED speech was one of the most watched of all time with more than 60 million views on the TED website. Today, it maintains more than 8.6 million followers on Linkedin.

Sinek, 51, explained how he was tried not to be in a serious romantic relationship. He said that he was on dates and he was asked if he was never married – and when he replied that he did not do it, and that the longest relationship in which he has ever been for three years, we often asked him: “What’s wrong with you?”

This is “the stress that I have been getting for decades,” said Sinek on the podcast. “I believed in my own story that I am a failure and that I am bad in relationships and that people like you have commitment problems. As if they all diagnosed me. And that didn’t seem good because I don’t think I do it. ”

Connection between work and marriage

Although people usually strive to separate their work and personal life, there is evidence that marriage can have an impact on career results. A study in 2020 of Brigham Young University shows that marriage is generally linked to the stability of the career, such as the longer mandate in a company and more advancement opportunities.

Researcher Kaden Lefevre cites a study dating from 1999 by a sociologist from Harvard who found that married people are “much less likely to leave a current job before doing a new one.” Lefevre also cites a study by the American Historical Association showing that married men and married women who have children are generally considered more reliable by employers.

Warren Buffett also cited his marriage as the most important financial decision he has ever taken. “Marry the right person. I am serious about it,” he said at an annual meeting of Berkshire Hathaway in 2009. “This will make more difference in your life. It will change your aspirations, all kinds of things. ”

On the other hand, other studies show marriage and having children can be an obstacle to career development, especially for women. In 2023, career choices were also cited as conflict No. 1 between divorced people.

The average stages of the marriage age change

The average age to get married in the United States is about 32, according to The Knot. But a decade ago, this figure was about 27 years old for women and 29 years for men, according to Pew Research. These statistics illustrate the tendency to how Americans are starting to delay the major stages like getting married, the adoption of a pet, the purchase of a house and having children for a wide variety of factors, namely inflation and the cost of living.

Sinek said in recent years that he had started to realize that he had the wrong story about himself and gave the example of one of his friends who was in an unhealthy 16-year-old relationship. He said that she “freely admits” the relationship should have been a year.

But “Society looks at her and says:” She did well. I did it badly, ”said Sinek. “‘There is something that does not go with me. There is nothing wrong with it, because there is something defective in you.'”

It is because many Americans always keep the idea that getting married is the right and the only choice. In fact, a recent study published by the National Library of Medicine shows that there are still immense family pressures for financial stability, social status and other strict criteria that induce anxiety and hesitation on marriage. The generational conflict aggravates this tension when young people reject traditional conjugal expectations, but still feel the pressure to make the knot, according to the study.

“Whatever reason, this societal pressure can let us feel inadequate or as a failure, experience self -doubt, second our life decisions, feel socially isolated or fall into the comparison trap,” wrote the approved therapist Meggen Horwatt in a recent blog article. “The pressure to get married and have children at a certain age, and not get there can make us feel that we are broken, not very friendly, behind or stranded.”

Despite the episodes of self -doubt in the past, Sinek said he had realized that he was a “very happy person” despite his lack of romantic relationships.

“I have great friends,” he said.

But still, the pressure for marriage remains.

There are “entire savings on how to find it, breastfeed, get it,” said Sinek. “And yet there is so little friendship.”

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